The Stories of Our Lives

A few years ago, my dad and my brother accomplished something incredible.

My parents were renovating their bathroom, and my brother was there to help unload a brand-new vanity from my dad’s truck into the house. They glanced at the box to check how heavy it was.

“Says it’s 200 pounds,” my brother tells my dad. “We can carry that, no problem.”

And so they did. One on each side of this massive box, they lifted it down from the truck, up the stairs, down the hall, and into the bathroom. Only after they’d managed to safely put it down did they admit to themselves just how heavy it felt. My brother went back to the box to double-check the weight, and that’s when he discovered his mistake: the bathroom vanity wasn’t 200 pounds; it was 200 kilograms. That’s over twice what they’d expected to lift!

They marveled at what they’d accomplished and later joked about how they might never have attempted it if they’d known the real weight from the start. Physically, they could clearly handle the load. But mentally, would they have even tried?

This story gets me thinking: what stories do we tell ourselves about our limitations and abilities? As the scholar and storyteller Thomas King once said, “The truth about stories is that’s all we are.” Our stories shape our perceptions, which in turn, shape our reality. They define what we believe is possible and dictate what we dare to attempt.

The narratives we hold - about ourselves, our teams, and our organizations - have real power over our outcomes. Here are some examples of how leaders can reshape these narratives to unlock potential, overcome challenges, and help their teams reach new heights.

Reframe Limitations as Opportunities

Just as my dad and brother carried more than they thought possible, teams can often achieve more when they see challenges as opportunities. Instead of viewing budget cuts as limiting, for instance, leaders might reframe it as, “With limited resources, we’ll innovate.” History is full of groundbreaking ideas born from constraints, and by embracing this mindset, leaders can help their teams unlock creativity and resilience.

Expand Beyond the Role

Sometimes, the stories team members tell themselves about their roles hold them back. A “support player” might shy away from leadership, not seeing it as part of their identity. Leaders can encourage team members to redefine their roles, revealing untapped potential just waiting for a chance to grow.

Turn Failures into Stories of Learning

Lastly, shifting the narrative around failure can turn setbacks into growth moments. A product launch that falls short might initially seem like a failure, but reframing it as a learning opportunity helps teams build resilience and adapt for future success.

This story about my dad and brother’s unexpected feat serves as a reminder of the power of mindset. What stories are you telling yourself about what’s possible? Are your narratives empowering you, or are they creating invisible barriers? If you’re not seeing the results you hope for, consider the possibility of rewriting your story. Just as my dad and brother discovered new strength by unknowingly tackling an enormous challenge, you and your team may find that by changing the narrative, you can reach levels of potential you hadn’t imagined.